Recent Posts
M1Q6ej
No.5313
i find this song to be very close to me. the following part in particular is the only verse in a song that has really registered to what extent the dichotomy exists between me and the fag i share a dorm room with.
friends, a job, rich parents, a girlfriend, females crushing on you, parties every week. and what will i have to show for my 4 years of university? assuming i manage to graduate alive from this hell-like rural soul-crushing arsehole. my poor baap has no idea I am in no way similar to him, i will never be as hard-working and hence succesful as him. will never have a strong friend circle (or any friends, really) either, or ever get a girlfriend like he did, manage to ever do any of the things he accomplished. expects me to rise above him because of a few retarded olympiads, trophies, papers i wrote in school? absolute state. none of them mattered for shit. the fuck is the point of having all these meme attributes fags kang on online day and night? I would sacrifice 5 IQ points for a solid friend I'd get to make, 15cm for a female friend i could just talk to, for fucks sake. why the FUCK am i le hecking unique? Retarded hobbies like consooming soyshit, reading fiction, obsessing over earths climate, geography and the cosmos - all for what? it is mere escapism to distract myself from how shite my life is. aside from giving me a shitload of meme knowledge i am le interested in will it ever serve me any good? it is far better to drown in the mundanity of living as a retarded normie than to have to consciously fight against everything, day after day to larp as being able to live different. because of this i refuse to believe there are people like me - sure, there are people with a very different way of living (swingers, farmers, the cool alt kids, cartel members) but despite their ascribed status the communities they are in will use same methods for operation, cohesive identity of the group as whole as any random bhadwa gang. there is no place i can go, nobody i can see on this godforsaken rock as me. don't take this as if i am romanticising it. i hope nobody ever suffers being nerfed with chronic social isolation the same way i have
>Rain down, rain down
>Come on, rain down on me
>From a great height
>From a great height, height
>(Rain down) That's it, sir, you're leaving
>(Rain down) The crackle of pigskin
>(Come on, rain down) The dust and the screaming
>(On me) The yuppies networking and
>(From a great height) The panic, the vomit
>(From a great height) The panic, the vomit
>God loves his children
>God loves his children, yeah
M1Q6ej
No.5314
i am just here to suffer the rape of existence and then die .
LenPM8
No.5315
Im not 18 anymore so yeah my depression is mostly gone but its still there. Ive kind of accepted my fate now
M1Q6ej
No.5316
>>5315
i'm turning 20 years old this year and it has only worsened.
at least in high school i had the illusion of having friends through acquaintances. I don't even have that in university
INnXi0
No.5422
IqbyeO
No.5424
>>5312(OP)
I cannoy justify mine anymore. I wish you luck and hope you make it out alive. Play some games bhai. Or maybe some relaxing cgdct anime. Dont work yourself to burnout.
jb99ga
No.5425
>>5312(OP)
Fuck a girl, smoke weed.
c0+jJj
No.5430
M1Q6ej
No.5439
i am beginning to accept this state of life. I still break down at times, remembering the period i was a being, a unique person heard and remembered by others, but those have become more infrequent as i age. Still feeling worse than ever, but i try to move along, pick myself up by advancing at least once a day. it's the little things i have to watch out for, fuck caring about bigger problems
>That's me in the corner
>That's me in the spotlight
>Losing my religion
>Trying to keep up with you
>And I don't know if I can do it
>Oh no, I've said too much
>I haven't said enough
>I thought that I heard you laughing
>I thought that I heard you sing
>I think I thought I saw you try
e9K5YU
No.5440
>>5438
Some shit happened and I realized all my problems are self-inflicted. So now I can't really self-diagnose depression without getting reminded of all the ways I actively tried to sabotage my own life.
Basically that.
